Greg Gutfeld said, 'So they closed the case in just 11 days, the same amount of time it takes Joe to find his way offstage'

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No matter where it is I’m planning on eating, from the latest smash burger pop-ups to far fancier and far-flung establishments, if I can get hold of their menu beforehand, I’m reading it. I’m not sure if it’s my inclination towards over-preparedness, a fascination with food, or a bit of both – but it’s a compulsion. When I scoured the menu at Pearly Cow, Margate, I was mesmerised. Words started jumping out at me: “celery salt”, “dijonnaise” and “smoked caramel”. I found myself returning over and over to pour over it. From experience, this can often set you up for disappointment, as reality doesn’t always match up to the culinary delights conjured in your mind. Luckily, this wasn’t the case with Pearly Cow. The meal begins with a salt cod taco paired with parsley mayonnaise and preserved lemon, and a garlic-baked oyster with parsley and Ashmore cheddar. The crab-like texture of the cod contrasts beautifully with the crunch of the taco, while the oyster is bursting with flavour, once again disproving that cheese and seafood don’t belong together (tuna melts, melt-in-the-middle fish cakes, smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels… I could go on.) Although bread was not needed, bread was ordered, for I’m not a sociopath, and freshly baked sourdough with Hinxden farm butter proved all too irresistible. It arrives still steaming with a quenelle of salty butter dolloped on its side. It’s all you could hope for. There are tempura prawns with seaweed mayonnaise. Delicately battered and garnished with briny seaweed. The only issue is there aren’t more of them – definitely for the best, given what was to follow. Up came a lobster roll that was almost too pretty to eat; a charred, buttery brioche encasing generous chunks of lobster, doused in a delicious mayonnaise-y sauce. With the restaurant’s emphasis on “cooking over fire”, it felt necessary to try a steak. The ribeye came suitably charred, the open flame a definite flavour enhancer – mushrooms served in bone marrow were an indulgently lovely touch. As much as I resist playing into stereotypes of my Russian and Irish heritage, the star of the show for me really was a potato. Not just any potato, beef fat chips, to be precise. A sort of mix between latkes and thousand-layer potatoes, yet somehow with the texture of creamy mash within, these crunchy, crispy little wonders were a little bit magical. And don’t forget the dijonnaise. With just enough room for dessert, I managed to stuff down a chocolate custard tart topped with freeze-dried raspberries (arguably one of the best flavour combinations out there), this was the only dish that didn’t do much for me; a little crumbly and could have used a touch of salt to bring out the flavours, however, it was pleasant. Not forgetting the passionfruit souffle, which my guest described as the best thing he’d ever put in his mouth. A seasonal and creative cocktail menu has a variety of inventive tipples, perhaps only lacking in a few of the classics. Pearly Cow looks out onto Margate beach; for those fortunate enough to dine on a sunny, blue-skyed day, the view really is as pretty as a postcard. Velvet upholstery and twinkly lamps pair with the colours of the sea to offer up a comfortable yet luxurious setting for a long, seaside lunch. Pearly Cow, 16 Marine Dr, Margate, CT9 1DH | pearlycow.co.uk | 01843 261200 Read More From a £22 bag of pasta to £28 sandwich – why do they cost so much? How to host a dinner party for under £2 per portion Three authentic Thai recipes to try at home

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From the record-breaking Eras Tour to the re-recording release, it has been an exciting year to be a Taylor Swift fan - and now Swifties set sail on a themed cruise next year all about the singer. The aptly named "In My Cruise Era," trip from travel agency Marvellous Mouse Travels promises an unforgettable celebration of "all things Taylor," where fellow Swifties can "make new friends, dress up in our favourite eras, trade friendship bracelets, and enjoy everything this amazing ship has to offer." It added: "This cruise is for all fans, so bring your besties, your moms and dads, your baby fans, and if you need someone to room with, post on our page and ask.” (The cruise is not affiliated with Swift nor Taylor Alison Swift Rights Management Publishing (TASRM)). The five-night cruise sets sail on Oct 21, 2024 from Miami, Florida to Coco Cay — a private island owned by Royal Caribbean, Nassau in the Bahamas, then there's a day at sea as the cruise ship returns to Miami. Some of the events on the trip include a welcome cocktail party, friendship bracelet swapping (a tradition that began among Swifties at Eras Tour shows), themed dance and karaoke parties, Taylor Trivia and eras outfit themes for each night. A place onboard is pricey as the double occupancy rooms that remain available start at $1573 while an Oceanview will set you back $1967 (but this includes the room itself along with the refreshments and activities in the price). For more details, check out the website. How to join the indy100's free WhatsApp channel Sign up to our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

People can’t decide whether Balenciaga’s new $925 bath towel skirt is an example of clever marketing or just a ploy to wipe wallets. The unparalleled high fashion house, piloted by long-time creative director Demna Gvasalia, regularly releases peculiar designs, made to look beaten down and wrecked, with purposeful outlandish price tags – see its $1,850 fully destroyed sneakers or $1,800 trash bag tote. But this particular pick from the brand’s Spring 2024 collection sparked widespread debate online as soon it became available for pre-order on 14 November. A $927 terry-cloth towel, fashioned to be a wrap skirt, comes after the Georgian designer faced backlash for a controversial 2022 holiday ad featuring children holding teddy bears in leather bondage. Following the extensive criticism, Demna said he planned on tapping into his “roots in fashion as well as to the roots of Balenciaga, which is making quality clothes – not making image or buzz”. He told Vogue his plan in February a few weeks ahead of his fall 2023 debut. But while the designer intended to find motivation from Balenciaga founder Cristóbal moving forward, this quirky bathroom garment prompted further conversation about the brand’s continued desire to offer “absurd” luxury items. One riled up fashion enthusiast took to X, formerly known as Twitter, to make a larger generalisation. “This is absurd, These brands will sell anything and everything at such ridiculously high prices,” they wrote. “Balenciaga is so unserious,” another critic commented, while someone else said: “I’ll say it again... Balenciaga is conducting an experiment. It’s a behavioral science study. You can’t convince me otherwise.” Amid the flock of immediate criticism, brand supporters pointed out the platform and intended buyers Balenciaga targets. “In economics we’d say they are discovering the true demand curve. They are checking their customer base to see how elastic they are. If it’s a fairly inelastic demand curve of which it’s very likely to be. They won’t lose anything by being selling s*** like this, in actual fact…” one person wrote. “I need customers like theirs,” another fan proclaimed. One candid reviewer wrote: “What kind of madness is this? At least I’m not their target market.” Other X users added remarks about how they could make their own towel skirt with their fluffy fabric at home. “I already got a towel skirt, it cost $10 and it’s from Walmart,” one individual commented. Playing off the high-end fashion brand’s current visibility, Ikea, the Swedish homewares and furniture brand, dropped a similar advertisement, highlighting its $10 VINARN bath towel. In promotional photos, a model could be seen with the towel wrapped around his waist, layered over a pair of construction pants. On top, the man donned a common Balenciaga identifier with a black hoodie and wrap-around moto sunglasses. Read More Women’s scarves and crocheted ties - what is Robert Peston wearing now? McDonald’s and Crocs collaborate on new Grimace shoes Jacob Elordi reveals why he always carries a purse Women’s scarves and crocheted ties - what is Robert Peston wearing now? McDonald’s and Crocs collaborate on new Grimace shoes Jacob Elordi reveals why he always carries a purse

Logan Paul taking one of his '$500k' gold Prime bottles to a pawnbroker seemingly backfired, when the YouTuber was offered a mere $25,000 for the collectable. It was one of the bottles that was given away at the London and New York activations for the popular drink, with another being won by a young boy from the UK. However, Paul wasn't willing to accept $25,000 for the bottle, and immediately demanded the owner offer him $700,000. It wasn't meant to be, though, as after a lot of convincing, he was offered $50,000. Sign up to our free Indy100 weekly newsletter

When Andy Williams sang that it’s the most wonderful time of the year, I assume he was talking about Christmas sandwich season. As the days grow shorter and the jumpers thicker, the meal deal gets a festive upgrade. Pushed to the back of the shelves are the limp ploughman’s and soggy falafel wraps, replaced instead with turkey and the trimmings, pigs in blankets and stuffing, and some enviable veggie alternatives. If you’re looking to bring a little festive cheer to the sad desk lunch, there’s no easier way to do it. But a spectre haunts the chiller cabinet, floating among the Innocent smoothies and that mystifying single boiled egg in a plastic pot. This Ghost of Christmas (Sandwich) Present is red and wobbly, smearing itself across every vaguely Christmassy sandwich it finds. I’m talking, of course, about cranberry sauce, a condiment used to signpost festive offerings, regardless of whether it tastes nice. No one is safe. Not Boots sandwiches. Not Greggs pasties. Not posh Pret toasties. While I’ve spent my adult life loosening myself from the meal deal’s claw-like grip, I’m willing to make an exception for the Christmas offerings. But a peruse of the supermarkets this year showed that every option comes smothered with cranberry, from turkey to falafel (yes, even at Christmas, some shops can’t think of a more imaginative veggie option than falafel). It’s not looking better at the fancier establishments, either. On paper, Costa’s vegan “turkey and trimmings” sandwich sounds like my dream lunch. You’ve got fake turkey, stuffing, fried onions, mayo… great! But then a slick of cranberry sauce. Criminal. In theory, you’d think the infallible formula of “bread + Christmas dinner + more bread” would be impossible to ruin. But cranberry sauce gives it a damn good try. Including just one thick, sweet layer of the stuff overpowers the already strong flavours that should shine on their own. Call me old fashioned, but rarely do I tuck into a nice, savoury sarnie, enjoying the different tastes and textures, and think, you know what would make this better? Jam. To be clear, I’m not wholly anti-cranberry. There are places it’s appropriate: with vodka or, at a push, on top of some brie. I’m not even anti-cranberry sauce when it comes to Christmas dinner, in a splodge on the side of my plate for the items that suit it. But when it’s smeared over a sandwich, nothing else stands a chance. I can see why sandwich makers turn to cranberry sauce so regularly. Whether it’s turkey or a veggie alternative, a festive sandwich can be a pretty dry affair. But surely there must be a better moist-maker. Gravy? Mayonnaise? Gravy-mayonnaise? (Sounds heinous; actually pretty good). Hell, I’m even pro-butter in this situation, although I can accept that that’s not very Christmassy. Big Cranberry’s dominance is mostly frustrating because the options get better and more varied every year (especially for non-meat eaters), but the red stuff just seems to be inescapable. This year, I’ll be begging Santa that we’re released from its grasp. Read More Beauty advent calendars 2021: Our guide to this year’s top treats 13 best tech gifts to spoil a gadget geek this Christmas 10 best luxury Christmas crackers for dressing up your dining table